Wednesday 9pm, VH1
VH1 has found its latest niche in super-trashy versions of Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchises. There’s “Basketball Wives” and its Los Angeles-based spin-off; “Mob Wives” and its Chicago spin-off (and another spin-off in the wings for fan favorite Big Ang); and now this series that follows the lives of a bunch of ex-wives of legitimately famous people. They would be Mayte Garcia, ex-wife of Prince (and former paramour of Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee); Andrea Kelly, ex-wife of R. Kelly; Sheree Fletcher, ex-wife of Will Smith; Nicole Murphy, ex-wife of Eddie Murphy; and Jessica Canseco, ex-wife of Jose Canseco. Most of the aforementioned men are delightfully scandalicious, so here’s hoping some of these ladies unpack the skeletons you just know are in their closets.
Thursday 9pm and 9:30pm, FX
Generally appalling human being Charlie Sheen continues his 987th professional comeback with this new sitcom in which he plays—wait for it—a guy named Charlie. Specifically a guy named Charlie who used to be a professional baseball player whose once-promising career was derailed by his temper (shades of Major League, anyone?). Now, he’s an unconventional therapist specializing in anger-management issues, and the show follows his sessions with assorted patients. The setup sounds perfectly serviceable, but I find it hard to divorce my feelings about Sheen and his reprehensible tiger-warlock-whatever behavior. How is it right that this guy, who should practically list relationship demolition expert on his resume, continues to get regular gigs while more talented actors who don’t have an ounce of Sheen’s personal baggage feast on acting scraps? Speaking of actors making due, poor Selma Blair (Cruel Intentions) and Shawnee Smith (the Saw franchise) are involved here.
Sunday 10pm, Showtime
After eight seasons it’s time to say goodbye to Nancy Botwin and her drug-dealing family, and in truth it’s probably about two seasons too late. Season 7 ended on a massive cliffhanger, with the lead character (played by always-terrific Mary-Louise Parker) raising a toast to her newly reunited family, only for a sniper to interrupt with his bullet. Who got shot is being kept under wraps, but the five lead characters all seem to be coming back, so that should tell you something. My hope is that before it goes up in smoke (awful; fire me), the show finally admits what it’s been teasing us with its entire run: Nancy Botwin has a death wish, and she will not stop screwing up other people’s lives until someone finally puts her out of her misery.