It’s hard to believe that another political annus horribilis has already come and gone. It seems like only yesterday that we were sitting here in our underground bunker, awaiting the glorious coming of 2010, when President Obama’s socialist master plan would finally come to fruition, and we would all be herded into mile-long queues leading toward government re-education centers, forced Chevy Volt auto-assembly labor camps, or health care death panels, depending on our age.
Well, none of that great stuff happened, unfortunately. But boy, a bunch of crazy things did. So before the next 12 months of electoral excess begins to overwhelm us, we thought we’d take this opportunity to test your recall of the political year past.
While the Fifth District made room for Republican Congressman-elect Robert Hurt, the Capitol building certainly didn’t. Hurt’s new office is wedged between a stairwell and the commode.
1. Since ousting Democrat Tom Perriello from Virginia’s 5th District congressional seat, soon-to-be U.S. Representative Robert Hurt’s luck seems to have taken a turn for the worse. Which of the following negative news stories about Hurt wasn’t actually published?
a) In the lottery for highly coveted Capitol office space, he came in dead last, landing an 842-square-foot space between a stairwell and a bathroom.
b) A nonpartisan watchdog reported that he received more than $127,000 in campaign contributions from the financial industry, which he will now oversee as a member of the House Financial Services Committee.
c) His seat in the state senate had to be removed and reupholstered, due to “significant staining and a fetid, unpleasant odor.”
d) His recent statement decrying “the government takeover of health care” was rated as “False” by PolitiFact.
2. Loudoun County Board of
Supervisors member Eugene
Delgaudio recently circulated an e-mail warning that the airport TSA screener giving you an “enhanced pat-down” could be what?
a) “An active carrier of communicable diseases between passengers.”
b) “A practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission.”
c) “An illegal immigrant.”
d) “A Democrat.”
3. While discussing the upcoming 2012 U.S. Senate race, what did Prince William County Board of Supervisors Chairman (and fellow Republican) Corey Stewart have to say about George Allen?
a) “Senator Allen was a great governor of Virginia.”
b) “His record in the United States Senate was mediocre.”
c) “His base has, frankly, moved on.”
d) All of the above.
4. In August, Representative Eric Cantor released a book called Young Guns, and the GOP soon launched a web site of the same name to promote (apparently poorly vetted) Republican congressional candidates. Which of the following candidates did not appear on the site?
a) A California “entrepreneur” who ran a chain of medicinal marijuana stores.
b) A millionaire businessman who liked to dress up as a Nazi and perform in WWII reenactments.
c) A retired Army colonel with a violent past who openly consorted with a motorcycle club suspected of a variety of crimes by the FBI.
d) A police sergeant who allowed a subordinate officer to conduct an illegal strip search of a teenager.
Answers: 1-c, 2-b, 3-d, 4-a