Film review: The Last of Robin Hood steals no glory
Not since Raul Julia’s puzzling appearance in the New Jersey Public Television video chroma key disaster “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” has A-level talent looked as out of place as it does in the attempted scandal flick The Last of Robin Hood. But where “Overdrawn” can blame its production value on the fact that it […]
Film review: Pierce Brosnan churns out second-rate action in The November Man
Watching The November Man try its best to be an exciting Bourne-inspired actioner is like listening to someone trip over themselves, so eager to get to the punchline of a joke that they skip key parts of the setup. And just as a botched joke can be unintentionally funny, so too is The November Man […]
Film review: Love story gets muddled in If I Stay
Saying that If I Stay, adapted from Gayle Forman’s blockbuster young adult novel, is bad because it’s overwrought and pretentious is to dismiss a crucial stage of growing up when you yourself are overwrought and pretentious by no real fault of your own. The entire young adult experience is completely unfair. You’re long on feelings […]
Film review: The latest chapter in The Expendables comes up short
Four years and three installments into the Expendables series and we’ve reached what is typically the nail in the coffin for action franchises: the PG-13 sequel. While the rating is essentially meaningless in this age of bloodless gun battles and cramming in as many “shits” as you can but using only one intentionally placed “fuck,” […]
Film review: The updated take on TMNT loses charm
The fact that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles isn’t as bad as it could have been is a small miracle, given the reverse Midas touch of producer (and not director, another miracle) Michael Bay on preexisting franchises. Considering the film’s primary problems are only that it’s basically a straight-to-DVD actioner with cartoon characters shoehorned in and […]
Film review: James Brown biopic gets it right
Get On Up is the best possible film of an inherently mediocre genre: the biopic. Most biopics render themselves obsolete by failing to admit that when a person is famous, we almost always know the most interesting thing about them because that thing is the reason they’re famous in the first place. Whether the subject […]
Film review: Luc Besson loses direction in the sci-fi wannabe Lucy
It may seem nitpicky in this era of movies about radioactive spider bites and ancient alien stud-gods to take issue with a premise that is basically an excuse for inventive set pieces, but there’s something so incredibly lazy and pointless about the way Luc Besson plays with the old (and false) “Did you know that […]
Film review: The Purge sequel is dragged down by lackluster anarchy
Anyone who has been to an underground or independent film festival is no doubt familiar with a very specific genre of DIY “woods” movies where dudes with guns creep through a forest, talk an awful lot for people trying to remain undetected, and get into strangely choreographed shoot-outs at odd intervals. These movies are made […]
Film review: Monkey schools man in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Confession time: My favorite movie of all time is the original 1968 Planet of the Apes, and it breaks my heart that it doesn’t appear on more Best Of lists. Boasting a script from the eternally relevant Rod Serling, it channels the best aspects of “The Twilight Zone” into a feature-length idea. PotA has it all: […]
Film review: Tammy turns things around in the end
A lack of new ideas and a surplus of sincerity are not typically good qualities in a comedy. Just think of how forced and unearned the last 20 minutes of any Happy Madison movie are: “I know I’m a slob who screwed everything up while being distractingly racist and homophobic along the way. But I […]