It’s true that dating in Charlottesville is harder than in the average town, and if you’re over 40 it’s even more challenging. I frequently hear women say every man they meet is married. Let’s face it, a single woman’s daily routine isn’t stacked with opportunities to meet men, especially if you work in a female dominated workplace. Your yoga class, book group, or art workshops aren’t exactly male meccas. When you do find a man in your Spanish class, the male to female ratio is so skewed that it feels like you’re back in high school fighting for attention from the hottest guy in class. Few obvious venues cater exclusively to singles, outside of the bars. There just aren’t enough singletons looking to meet someone to sustain ongoing events. Despite all these challenges, it’s completely possible to find love in this town, but it will require you to make some changes and will probably take longer.
Deliberately spend time in locations where the men are. “Well, duh,” you say. “I’d do that if I knew where.” Men are at coffee shops on Saturday and Sunday mornings. They’re at any park, hiking or biking on the trails, often alone. They’re seeing live music or sports, at the gym or dog park, and in the bookstores. As you’ve already discovered, they’re not in your classes or groups and you’re more likely to meet them when you’re by yourself than out with friends. Meeting men in these places isn’t entirely comfortable because we’ve had it drilled into our heads to think about safety first. It’s easier if you become a regular at these spots. Make friends with other patrons so you can let down your guard and seize the moment. Your challenge is to spontaneously flirt and make a positive impression and connection. When your interaction comes to a close, say, “Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” It’s the magic phrase that gives him the green light to ask you out.
Significantly increase your chances by going online. If you’ve been online for some time, you’re probably rolling your eyes at this suggestion. Yes, it’s depressing to see the same faces that were there five years ago, but if you’re really serious about settling down, you’ve got to have more than three dates a year. Expand your search to include men from D.C. and Richmond. There’s no magic solution. Be patient and stay optimistic. If you believe there are good single men in this town, you’re much more likely to spot them when they cross your path.