Electoral knowledge

—Donald Bumsfelt

A: Well, Mr. Bumsfelt, Ace, like you, has developed a true fondness over the past year of Campaign Reeject Bush for the project’s 38-year-old mastermind, who was first profiled in the pages of C-VILLE in the beginning of May. But sadly, after November 2, Schrader decamps from campaign headquarters (a table outside of Oyster House Antiques) and jets off to Polynesia.

 That’s right, folks. He has braved the snow, rain and sleet to hawk (at no profit to himself) bumper stickers, t-shirts and baseball hats that say “Reeject Bush.” But, mission complete, Schrader—like every smart man—will waste no time in heading for the finest beaches this world has to offer. While he declines to say which island, Schrader assures Ace there will be plenty of surfing and fun in the sun penciled into his date book.

 Tanned and with cocktail still in hand, Schrader will then board a plane and head back to where all those fruitcake liberals belong: Europe. Wavre, Belgium, just south of Brussels, to be more specific. That’s where Schrader lives and manages a nursing home when there’s not a higher calling—like grassroots political activism—directing him home to the United States.

 Back in Belgium, Schrader says that he will also be debating the pros and cons of maintaining his Charlottesville abode that has served as his U.S. base of operations for two years due to the small detail that Schrader is not a Belgian citizen. But that’s about to change. Since same-sex marriages are not recognized by the U.S. government but are legally sanctioned in Belgium, Schrader is “in the process of becoming a Belgian citizen” so that he can marry his Belgian partner. “I have no political motivations behind getting out of the United States,” clarifies Schrader.

 But, having logged approximately five hours a day on the Mall for 500 days, and having sold approximately 2,000 Reeject Bush bumper stickers, 1,000 t-shirts and 50 baseball hats, Schrader has left his mark on this town regardless of whether he keeps a house here. Total proceeds are in excess of $19,000, all of which have been donated to the Kerry campaign or used to make more Reeject Bush products. The leftover goods will no doubt become collector’s items. So save up, because he is considering selling them on eBay.

 For Ace, Schrader’s departure will rank among the teariest of farewells—right up there with the “Friends” finale. And, catching glimpses of the “Reeject Bush” slogan in the coming months just might choke Ace up a bit. “Those were the days,” Ace will say. “Good times, good times.”