Categories we left off the ballot

Categories we left off the ballot

Best Interstate

Best Place To Catch A Contact High

Best Place To Ogle City Cops

Best Place To Be Trapped Behind 13 Skinny-decaf-soy-mocha-latté-just-a-touch-of-whipped-cream Drinkers When All You Want Is A Goddamned Cup Of Coffee

Best Mountain

Best Nonexistent Roadway Built Right Through The City’s Largest Park

Best Place To Buy White T-shirts (Downtown)

Best Location For Downtown Security Cameras, So As To Catch Post-Bar-Hopping Folks, Well, You Know….

Best Winery (Drive-thru)

Best Sinkhole

Best Outbreak Of NIMBYism

Best New State Driver’s Fee

Best University

Best Now-defunct Boutique

Gas Station

Best Place To Flip Down Shirt Collars Of People Who Inexplicably Have Them Flipped Up

Best Place To Score Free Condoms

Best Bar From Which To Be Bounced

Best Place To Swipe Patio Furniture

Best Secret Land Deal With Army

Best Strip Club