“The Hills,” “Law & Order: SVU,” “Happy Town”

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“The Hills” 

Tuesday 10pm, MTV

Since ratings have plummeted and its original star has left the series, MTV is pulling the plug on this once hugely influential “reality” show at the end of this sixth season, which begins tonight. The cast has been doing its damnedest to ratchet up drama. Dim Audrina has been nabbing tabloid shots by dating has-been rocker Ryan Cabrera. New lead Kristen Cavallari has been making everyone think she has a drug problem. And series “villain” Heidi Montag, who underwent a battery of plastic surgeries to transform herself into a walking sex doll, has dropped rumors that she’s looking to divorce her psychotic husband, Spencer, and most interestingly, a few weeks ago slapped the show’s producer with a sexual-harassment lawsuit. Here’s hoping that it ends with every one of them being rocketed into outer space, never to return.

 

“Law & Order: SVU” 

Wednesday 10pm, NBC

I have always had a soft spot for Sharon Stone. Before she was famous she was great even in bit parts, like in Total Recall. Then Basic Instinct happened and she became huge and went on to be awesome/crazy, and made a string of terrible movies that have basically destroyed her career. Tonight she starts her four-episode guest stint on “Law & Order: SVU,” which should be subtitled “Where Formerly Hot Actors Go to Die.” Stone will play an assistant district attorney who used to be a cop, and who coincidentally taught Stabler (god among men Christopher Meloni) the ropes. Look for Stone to have a prickly relationship with her former charge and his current partner, played by the indispensable Mariska Hargitay.

 

“Happy Town” 

Wednesday 10pm, ABC

I always support when networks take a chance on a different kind of show. So while last year’s murder-mystery “Harper’s Island” wasn’t a smash, maybe this new dark thriller will find an audience. “Happy Town” follows the residents of Haplin, Minnesota, a sleepy hamlet recovering from a series of unsolved kidnappings. After a mysterious newcomer arrives, stuff starts to go horribly wrong again. It’s one of those shows where everybody has a motive, and the actual killer will be the person you least suspect. So I’m going with Peggy (Frances Conroy, “Six Feet Under”), creepy matriarch of one of the town’s founding families. But watch, she’ll probably end up dead/missing first. Also stars Steve Weber (“Wings”), the awesome Amy Acker (“Angel,” “Dollhouse”) and Sam Neill (“The Tudors”). 

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