“Lost,” “24,” “Two and a Half Men”

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 “Lost” 

Sunday 9pm, ABC

It’s the end for one of the most talked-about series of the past decade. Will the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 finally get off that literally god-damned island? Will all of your remaining questions get answered? Don’t count on that last bit; the producers have admitted that they simply won’t have time to delve into all of the puzzling minutiae that drove fans nuts for six seasons. Instead of focusing on the details, consider the big picture: This final season has been full of powerful, emotional moments (the final fate of Jin and Sun—‘nuff said) and some thrilling twists. Tune in at 7pm for a two-hour retrospective, and stay on after the series wraps for a special “Aloha to ‘Lost’” Jimmy Kimmel special starting at 12:05am.

 

“24”

Monday 8pm, Fox

It’s been eight seasons and eight really shitty days for beleaguered government agent Jack Bauer, and tonight his real-time TV travails come to an end. But perhaps not his overall story: Plans are already in motion to move Jack into a spin-off, big-screen movie (hey, it worked for “Sex and the City”). That takes away a bit of the drama from this finale, since Kiefer Sutherland’s protagonist is almost certain to survive. He may not, however, get a happy ending, as producers reportedly said that—although they considered wrapping with smiles and puppy dogs (I’m paraphrasing)—a happy ending just didn’t make sense. Given how many people Jack tortured and killed over the past eight years, it’s hard to argue with that.

 

“Two and a Half Men”

Monday 9pm, CBS

After tonight’s season finale it may just be “One and a Half Men”—or no show at all. Things are up in the air for this crude sitcom, which has been a ratings bonanza for years, despite the fact that it’s not terribly funny, and certainly not very smart. Part of the allure must be leads Jon Cryer and Charlie Sheen (although Holland Taylor is the only member of the ensemble I can stand), and half of that undynamic duo might be out the door. Although the series has been renewed for another season, Sheen is reportedly playing hardball with his salary, which is incredibly stupid given his currently precarious legal and PR situations. Domestic abuse charges, rehab, allegations of infidelity, bizarre Britney-like behavior…the man is a human Bad Idea Bear.

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