Should I invite a new friend to my wedding? Candy Girl, our etiquette queen, answers

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Photo: Ashley Cox Photo: Ashley Cox

I just started hanging out with a new friend. Should I invite her to my wedding? Is that weird?

We’ve all been there—the nervous giggles, the pounding heart, the wondering if they feel the same way about fashion trends (honestly, those are just blankets worn as scarves). Candy Girl’s talking, of course, about those fluttering feelings of a new friendship. Making friends as an adult is notoriously difficult, so when you find someone you click with, it’s easy to want to enmesh them as quickly as possible in your social life, but in a totally relaxed, normal, human way. And what better way to capture, er, entice them, then to literally hand them an invitation to the most important event on your horizon? Or, is inviting this budding bestie to your wedding too much? And, alternatively, is not inviting your friendly coworker of the last five years rude? For dos and don’ts, Candy Baby turned to event planner Dickie Morris Wright of Just a Little Ditty.

“It’s important to think about your guest group as a circle of people closest to you,” she says. “So, if you’ve got a new friend who means a lot to you and you believe will play a role in your future, then by all means, invite them. Allow yourself to follow your gut, and just know that feelings will get hurt.”

So, obligation invites are out (sorry Toby from HR!). And while you can’t put a price on friendship, you can certainly put a price on the roast beef entrée. Starting your planning with a budget along with a guest list, as Wright does, can help you more quickly decide whom you love enough to see on your perfect day that you would happily pay to have them there.

Once they’re there, you can make your new pal feel welcome (and likely to come back for more after your big day) with extra touches that even your oldest friends will appreciate. Dickie recommends yard games or an interactive snack/drinks station during your cocktail hour to help break the ice between guests, and a thoughtful seating chart to get everyone settled in.

“You could take it one step further and write a note in each guest’s place card,” Wright says. “For example, ‘Kate, you’re next to George because he also volunteered in Ghana after college’.”

DIY cocktails, punched-up place cards and a seriously killer evening? This friendship is totally in the bag.

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