Tobias Beard



Infinite Jest

books Tell me about Infinite Jest. My God, how can I even begin? In 1996, David Foster Wallace was 34 when Infinite Jest, his second novel, was published. It was, in its hardcover first edition, 1,079 pages long, including 96 pages of endnotes. It was hyped and praised and criticized to the extent that its […]

Smells like Old Spice

Smells like Old Spice

The wizened man steps to the mic and launches into “Mack The Knife,” while behind him the 17-piece band goes a-one-and-a-two and begins to really swing. Evelyn rises carefully from her chair and stalks across the dance floor, her eyes locked on her target: a tall man, distinguished, steel-rod-for-a-spine in a dinner jacket with a green bow tie and matching cummerbund.

Returns of the natives

Returns of the natives

It’s Tuesday night, November 7. The polls have closed and the parties’ parties are just getting going. The Dems are above the Downtown ice rink in a large glassed-in room where the floors are half-and-half wood and carpet.

Laugh, according to creed

Laugh, according to creed

A hirsute man sits in plain view on the toilet, straining. His wild pawing at the walls is accompanied by the sort of explosive sounds that go over big at a fourth grade lunch table. But this man is on a date, giving the sad-eyed woman on the other side of the door a horrific earful.

Quick-change artist

Quick-change artist

A lot of people from Charlottesville like to think of themselves as Hollywood types, but Jeff Wadlow, son of the late State Senator Emily Couric and Charlottesville High School graduate (Class of 1994), really is one.

Faster Than The Speed Of Film

Faster Than The Speed Of Film

Culbreth Theatre, UVA Grounds. Sunday October 30, 2005. 4pm.
8,640 hours, 30 minutes to go.
Shea Sizemore, Paul Metzger, and Kim Bonner are taking in the applause. The filmmaking team has just won the Mentor Award for the 2005 Adrenaline Film Project for their short movie, Small Loss. The prize, given by the project’s directors, rewards the team that overcomes the largest odds and still makes a great film.

Follow the leaders

Follow the leaders

It is very cold in the cocktail tent where Bruce Wilcox, president-elect of the Sons of the American Revolution, is talking to George Washington, another son of the revolution who is better recalled, of course, as the Father of Our Country. Though he died 207 years ago, Washington looks pretty well pulled together.

Dave Matthews Band

Dave Matthews Band

music A show for young and old alike! It’s the last show of the summer tour and three generations of Dave Matthews Band fans have arrived at what is now officially Charlottesville’s arena from as far away as Canada and as near as Albemarle High School. With me for the evening is 15-year-old Simon, whose parents just bought tickets outside. Simon says a lot of people his age are at the concert. How many are here with their parents? Pause. “Pretty much all of them,” 14-year-old Madeline, Simon’s friend, says. Simon is so excited he can barely speak, until the lights go out and he yells, “Yeah!” People wave cell phones like lighters. Dave walks out first, alone. The crowd roars and he throws his arms up in triumph. He is glad to be home.

The once and future fan

I didn’t want to like the Dave Matthews Band. In fact I tried hard not to. It was late 1991, I was 16 and a friend of mine told me about a friend of hers, Stefan, who went to Tandem and was in this band and we should seriously go see them. Right. Like I was going to go see a high school band

The politics of partying

By J. Tobias Beardopinion@c-ville.com The news was first reported on June 14, but it didn’t really start to spread until two days later. By the 19th it was all over the ’Net, bubbling just under the surface of more serious matters. Jay-Z had declared he was boycotting Cristal. Yes, Jay-Z, the head of Def Jam […]

Culture Bin

Culture Bin

In the beginning, everybody is tense, or at least having problems with tense, as evidenced by the sign on the backstage door that says, “Employees only passed this point.”