Choby



Charlottesville men speak

Charlottesville men speak

Few Charlottesville singles over 35 are immune to the challenges of meeting people to date. I’m reminded by a letter from a male reader: “I have come to the conclusion that single women do not exist in Charlottesville.” Done with the bar scene, all the women he meets are too young, married or taken. Dear […]

How to meet single men in Charlottesville

How to meet single men in Charlottesville

It’s true that dating in Charlottesville is harder than in the average town, and if you’re over 40 it’s even more challenging. I frequently hear women say every man they meet is married.  Let’s face it, a single woman’s daily routine isn’t stacked with opportunities to meet men, especially if you work in a female […]

Should women call men?

Should women call men?

I can’t believe I’m writing an article on this topic and worse, I’m appalled by what I’m about to tell you. Women should let men phone first in early stages of dating. I’m in favor of modern gender roles and relationships but, as a dating coach, I’ve discovered that traditional “courting” norms still apply. They’re […]

How to flirt

How to flirt

Flirting is supposed to be a delicious, fun, lighthearted exchange. Boil it down to three things: smiling, making eye contact, and chatting.

It's a family affair

It's a family affair

He and his family had concerns about the relationship before he married. His wife ended up in an affair and pregnant by another man. It’s heartbreaking but not surprising. Parents and friends can see things you can’t or don’t want to. They act like your gut when you’re ignoring yours. What do you do if […]

A case for arranged marriage?

A case for arranged marriage?

No, I didn’t fall and bump my head and your eyes aren’t deceiving you. Marrying for love is actually a relatively new phenomenon.  There’s a vast record of arranged marriage in much of the Muslim world, among Hasidic Jews, in India, in many Asian societies, throughout European history, and even in Colonial America. The choice […]

Keeping the books on dating

A client recently went on a blind date. When I asked her how it was, she replied, “He paid for me.”A client recently went on a blind date. When I asked her how it was, she replied, “He paid for me.”

It's hard to find love if you're not out there

Women love giving each other dating advice and “stop looking, you’ll find love when you least expect it” is at the top of the list.  On one level, that’s right. When you try to force love you’re more likely to appear needy. And that’s unattractive. However, you can’t just stop getting out there and then […]

Is he just not that into you?

Is he just not that into you?

When I saw the movie He’s Just Not That Into You on opening weekend, I wasn’t prepared for the packs of women filling the theater.  The best-selling book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo obviously has a following, but many women question the advice it offers.  When you read the author’s instructions that women should […]

Be the star of your own Valentine's Day

Be the star of your own Valentine's Day

When my sisters and I were kids, we had a favorite ritual with our babysitter. We’d set our old kitchen table with a lace tablecloth, pull out the fine candlesticks and put our boxed Kraft Macaroni and Cheese into a crystal serving bowl. Classical music played on my dad’s record player and we felt like […]

Endurance test

Endurance test

We talked about all the important relationship stuff before we got engaged. Once we did, there was a greater psychic urgency to make sure we were doing the right thing.