Atkins



One string attached

Dear Ace: The good folks at Brown’s Dry Cleaners claim they are not allowed to recycle metal hangers. My husband and I collect them by the dozens each month and it makes me sick to think of piles of hangers going nowhere but the landfill. Also, one other cleaner—now defunct Terra Bella—used to recycle hangers. […]

Taking Control

Dear Ace: I was driving home late last night and saw a dead cat lying in the street in my neighborhood. After I got home, I wondered, Who would I call to get that cat picked up off the side of the road? And, what if that cat were a bear? Would I call the […]

West end story

West end story

Ace, I was on the west end of the Downtown Mall the other day with a long, well-crafted letter to a friend in another state…

Nothin' brewing

Nothin' brewing

Dear Ace: One of my friends just recently went to Staunton to Queen City Brewing, where they let you make your own beer. What would it take to get this in Charlottesville? I’m seriously thinking of a trip to Staunton.—Thurs T. Dood  Thurs: First off, thanks for giving Ace a question he can sink his […]

Read(ing) the signs

Read(ing) the signs

Ace: I’ve seen signs for 1-800-GOT-JUNK posted up all over town. What are they for? And aren’t they getting in trouble putting signs up everywhere?—Tad L. Tayle Tad: Ace used to have a friend just like you. He always colored inside the lines, never drank his milk directly from the carton and always put the […]

Safety last?

Safety last?

Dear Ace: I was a recent passenger of Amtrak‘s Crescent line and had a bit of a mishap. Not-so-spry passengers had to negotiate a wire fence and stumble over an unpaved surface simply to board the train. Is it possible there are no safety guidelines in place to protect at-risk travelers from falling through the […]

Last stop, Dooms

Last stop, Dooms

Ace, I’ve been driving around outside Charlottesville and have noticed some crazy town names. Where do they all come from? Oilville? Dooms?—N. Owta-Towna N.: First, Ace has a question for you: What is this "outside Charlottesville" of which you speak? You mean there are other places beyond our fair city? Ah, he kids, he kids. […]

High anxiety

High anxiety

Ace: What would you say is the highest point in Charlottesville?—Rhett E. Tuclime Rhett: Ace’s knee-jerk reaction to your question was to say that Lee Park is probably the highest point in Charlottesville (heh heh). But, Ace realized that, in all seriousness, this wasn’t what you meant, and therefore brushed up on some terms to […]

Just say no

Just say no

Ace, I live out in Zions Crossroads and am thoroughly sick and tired of having to drive either into town or down to Forest Lakes for a gym. Any word on whether with all this new development there is an ACAC or other gym planned in the Crossroads?—Mrs. Hermussles Mrs. H: Ace has never been […]

Talkin’ trash

Talkin’ trash

Ace, how many tons of garbage does the city pick up each year? And where do they put it all?—T. R. Ashcan A can is merely the first home for your garbage. Say goodbye as it heads to Zions Crossroads and finally to a landfill in Richmond. T.R.: Ace has become increasingly concerned about this […]

He's a one-band man

Anything cookin’ with Chris Daughtry these days? —Miss N. Idol Miss: First, Ace will assume you mean Daughtry, the band created by Fluvanna County product and ex-"American Idol" contestant Chris Daughtry, and not simply Daughtry himself, though answering this question in reference to one would pretty much clear up the question of the whereabouts of […]

Get your goat law

Get your goat law

Dear Ace: Can I keep a goat as a pet? And where’s the whole pet/livestock distinction there? Could I sell my pet goat’s milk at the City Market?—Bill E. Gotes Bill: Seriously? Goats are some pretty nasty characters. They might look cute, but if "Looney Tunes" has taught Ace nothing else, it’s that goats are […]

The doctor isn't in

The doctor isn't in

Dear Ace: If you’re at UVA, what’s that big house you can see across the way from Newcomb Hall? It looks highly historical. —Fool on the hill Fool: That’s not saying a whole lot, huh? Throw a rock south of Forest Lakes and you’re bound to do some property damage on something that’s "highly historical," […]

The fountain of truth

The fountain of truth

Dear Ace: It’s hot and I don’t have a pool. Can I bathe in public fountains?—Steve Freefontaine Steve: Nothing beats the heat quite like wallowing in filthy water. Just ask any water buffalo. And hey, if you’re in a fountain, you can probably make quite a racket out of collecting the coins people toss in. […]

Who shot the professor?

Who shot the professor?

Dear Ace: The fact that the UVA honor code started after a student shot a professor is just one of those things you learn as a Charlottesvillian. What’s the deal with that?—Peter Gunn Peter: Hey, Ace doesn’t want to get on any FBI watch lists here, but he’s met a few academics he wouldn’t lose […]

Nickname dropping

Nickname dropping

Dear Ace: What’s a good nickname for me? I’ve never had one.—Nick Namor Nick: Sorry, but Ace has never had to suffer the misfortune of coming up with a suitable nickname for himself, as he was born presobriquetted. No Eustace or Cuthbert here; Ace has always been just plain Ace. And let Ace tell you, […]

Battling it outside the area

Battling it outside the area

Dear Ace: What with all the history around here, is there anyone in Charlottesville who does historical re-enactments?—Lee N. Grant Lee: Well, there are those folks over at Ash Lawn-Highland, including a slave re-enactor that is certainly one of the stranger blurrings of the whole re-enactment thing that Ace has ever come across, but Ace […]

Where the bison once roamed

Where the bison once roamed

Dear Ace: Where’d the bison out in Albemarle County go?—Buffalo Bill Buffalo: Yes, local food-lovin’ Charlottesville has lost some local food. The bison around here have gone the way of the buffalo, as it were. What’s the deal? The 100 or so bison that were here until recently were residents of Georgetown Farm, an operation […]

Thinning the herd

Dear Ace: I remember going to Ash Lawn when I was younger and seeing a whole colony of peacocks wandering the grounds. I went recently and there were just a few. Where’d they all go?—Courteney P. Cox Courteney: Monticello gets all the love, but Ace has always been partial to James Monroe’s Ash Lawn-Highland. The […]

Speaking in tongues

Speaking in tongues

Dear Ace: Why is Rio Road pronounced “rye-o”? Friends from out of town always look at me funny when I pronounce the thing correctly.—Tom Townie Tom: You see, back in Jefferson’s time, there was a farmer who had some bread. Ace thinks you can guess what its name-o was. Wow, that was terrible. But yes, […]

Free information

Free information

Dear Ace: Why is Free Union called Free Union? The name seems a little grandiose for what’s sort of a one-horse town, don’t you think?—Crozet T. Robot Crozet: Yeah, sounds kinda like it should be home to a few Montana militiamen, doesn’t it? But Virginia has plenty of weird town names, though a lot of […]

Man of mystery

Man of mystery

Dear Ace: Who’s that guy who’s always holding book signings in front of CaféCubano?—John Lee Booker John: Wait, you’re telling Ace that’s not John Grisham? No wonder the dude looked unnerved when Ace said, “A Time to Kill” with a knowing wink and walked away. But no, not only is he not Grisham, the mystery […]

Mind your own business

Mind your own business

Dear Ace, Who’s watching the store? No, I mean literally. Is there a consumer protection officer in the city or county?—Connie Summer Rapport  Connie: Let Ace guess: The dry cleaners couldn’t get mustard out of a silk shirt. Or maybe the cashier laughed at you for accidentally ordering a Big Mac at Burger King? Thrift […]

Menu-gate

Dear Ace: What’s the deal with those cute little racks of restaurant menus that are at the Visitors Center and in hotel lobbies? Who’s putting them up and how do restaurants make the cut?—Food Man Chu Food: Wow, this sounds like an infomercial setup if Ace has ever heard one. “Hey Ace, why is this […]

Not a drop

Not a drop

Dear Ace: Why is Water Street next to the Downtown Mall called Water Street? I’ve been up and down the street plenty of times, but I’ve never seen any water.—H. Choo Oh H.: This is an easy one. Any Charlottesvillian worth his or her salt knows that Water Street is named for Thomas Jefferson’s buddy […]