The year in electoral absurdity


Yes, as shocking as it seems, Virginia has completed another circuit around the sun, and one more crazy political year has finally drawn to a close. And, as ever, we here at the Odd Dominion want to celebrate this historic moment by challenging you, dear readers, to a test of wits. (Or half-wits, as the case may be.)

So, grab a hot rum toddy and put your thinking beanie on. It’s time to take a quizzical stroll down memory lane.

1. Virginia’s General Assembly started out 2011 with a flurry of proposed legislation. Which of the following bills was not introduced?
a) HJ557, a bill to allow the Commonwealth to mint its own legal tender, preferably in the form of gold and silver coins.
b) HJ640, a bill to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, 39 years after it was originally proposed.
c) SB1465, a bill to outlaw the use of Spanish as the primary language in “non-personal commercial interactions” (i.e., fast food and bank drive-throughs).
d) SB1470, a bill to consider castration as an alternative to prison for violent sex offenders.

2. Which of the following “facts” originally presented in the state-approved school textbook Our Virginia: Past and Present is untrue?
a) The Confederacy was made up of 12 states.
b) The U.S. entered World War I in 1916.
c) Stonewall Jackson commanded two battalions of black Confederate soldiers.
d) All of the above.

3. Virginia pols continued to have a way with words in 2011—especially when it came to offending large swaths of the population. Which of the following quotes wasn’t actually spoken aloud by a Virginia politician?
a) Representative Jim Moran: “A lot of people in this country, I believe, don’t want to be governed by an African-American.”
b) Delegate Dave Albo: “In a perfect world, I would like to be able to kick out every single person who’s an illegal alien in Virginia.”
c) Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli: “My Hispanic cab driver complained about his regs today: I don’t know what’s happening to this country, the regs are getting worse than Cuba.”
d) Representative Eric Cantor, opposing tsunami aid to Japan: “Essentially, what you are saying is to go borrow money from the Japanese so we can spend it there to help the Japanese.”

4. To what was Governor Bob McDonnell referring when he said “We’re furious. It’s a national embarrassment to the United States of America.”
a) The forced closing of the Joint Forces Command in Hampton Roads by the Obama administration.
b) The possibility that Republican intransigence in Congress would cause the U.S. government to default on its debt.
c) The flying of a rainbow gay pride flag over the Richmond Federal
Reserve Bank.
d) Michelle Obama dancing “The Dougie” at Alice Deal Middle School.

Racking your brain for the quote next to Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s high school photo? Hint: It wasn’t "They call me Dr. Love."

(Photo by ZUMAPRESS)

5. What quote did Eric Cantor choose to accompany his senior high school yearbook photo?
a) “In your heart, you know he’s right.”
b) “I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.”
c) “They call me Dr. Love.”
d) “I want what I want when I want it.”

Match the foolish Virginia politico with his idiotic deed:
6. Delegate Phil Hamilton
7. Lieutenant Governor Bob Bolling
8. Loudoun Sheriff candidate Ronald Speakman
9. Mark Sell, Loudoun County Republican Committee chairman
a) Touted as the Commonwealth’s “Chief Jobs Creation Officer,” told a Lynchburg newspaper “We do not believe the government creates jobs.”
b) Sent a picture of an unknown gentlemen’s penis to a female staffer.
c) Illegally steered a $500,000 government grant to Old Dominion University in return for a $40,000-a-year job.
d) Sent a Halloween-themed mass e-mail featuring President Obama as a zombie with part of his skull missing and a bullet through his head.

Answer key: 1-C, 2-D, 3-C (it was a tweet), 4-B, 5-D, 6-C, 7-A, 8-B, 9-D