Learn to love

Learn to love

When you pick out a car, you expect it to have certain features—doors, an engine, a gas tank—for it to run smoothly. The same is true, says local relationship coach Marya Choby, when you pick out a mate.

Among the pearls of dating wisdom Marya Choby shared with SUGAR: “Date for fun and practice.”

Every relationship, she says, must meet each partner’s emotional and functional needs. That builds a solid foundation, so if the wants aren’t met (no sunroof or CD changer), the relationship will still manage (and the car will still operate). “[The wants] can add another level of fun or enjoyment to the relationship,” Choby says.

This is just part of what Choby tells participants (whom she says range in age from 35-70 years old!) during her “Get Ready for Love” workshops. During each session, which she holds a few times a year for five weeks each, Choby delivers a few key messages: Align your values with your search, know what you want from your life, and know what you want from your relationship. Her workshops help singles get clear about each of these things. “When you know what you want,” Choby says, “it helps you to balance your heart and your head.”
More information about Choby’s workshops can be found on her website (maryachoby.com), where you can sign up for the free “Conscious Dating package” and hear audio programs. She blogs at cvillesingles.blogspot.com.