Going Gaga


“Barbara Walters: 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009”
Wednesday 10pm, ABC

News maven Barbara Walters unveils her annual list of people she deems “fascinating.” This year’s selections range from the obvious tabloid/pop culture fixations (Kate Gosselin, Adam Lambert) to the curiously still-relevant (Brett Favre, Tyler Perry), to people who don’t know when to shut the fuck up (Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck). Of the revealed names, the one I most agree with is Lady Gaga, who is the very definition of fascinating. With hermaphrodite rumors, a Video Music Award performance that left her strung up and bleeding, and songs with lyrics like, “I’m a free bitch, baby,” I need to hear more from this mysterious woman (or, possibly, man). Two of the 10 remain a mystery, and I suspect we’ll see one of the idiots involved in the Twilight franchise in there, or possibly some Jackson or another. Perhaps Balloon Boy will pull an upset.

“Christmas at the White House: An Oprah Primetime Special”
Sunday 10pm, ABC

As I write this I’m watching President Obama address the nation about his decision to send 30,000 more troops into Afghanistan. If anybody could use a little Christmas, it’s that guy, forced to clean up all kinds of messes he had no hand in making. Thankfully Oprah is here, and she makes everything a little more fabulous. The Big O will have her first sit-down with the Pres since he won the election last year, and have a candid interview with the First Couple about the various White House holiday preparations. I hear they’re putting one of those inflatable snowmen out in the Rose Garden.

“The Vampire Diaries”
Monday 8pm, CW

“The Vampire Diaries” has been the lone bright spot in the CW’s bleak fall schedule. The show has pulled in record viewers and developed an intense cult following over the course of its first 10 episodes. (My teenage niece can’t stop talking about that last cliffhanger.) To capitalize on its success, and to get more people into the show, the network will re-air every episode of the show this week, two per night. If you like Twilight’s mopey tale of forbidden love but want something, you know, competently written and acted, or enjoy “True Blood” but wish it had fewer orgies, this is the teen supernatural drama for you.